Episode 214: Kermit Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone

Kermit Potter takes on his arch nemesis, Scootermort.

Transcript
(tile card shows like Harry Potter movies)

(in the castle)

Snape the Dog: Well, well, well. If it isn't Kermit Potter.

Kermit Potter: Well, well, well. If it isn't Snape the Dog. (laughs)

Snape the Dog: I see you got along your meddlesome cohorts. Fozzie Weasly, and Piggy Granger.

Fozzie Weasley: Meddlesome?

Piggy Granger: Cohorts?

Kermit Potter: Hey, hey Professor Snape the Dog!

Snape the Dog: What?

Kermit Potter: You're an grapefruit! (laughs)

Snape the Dog: I most certainly am not an grapefruit.

Kermit Potter: Yuh-huh! Grapefruit-cadabra!

(Kermit Potter turns Snape the Dog into an grapefruit)

Kermit Potter: Hey, Snape the Dog! Are you embarrassed? Cause you're looking a little green. (laughing)

Fozzie Weasley & Piggy Granger: (laughs)

Snape the Dog: (growls angrily, and turns himself back into regular) Silence of your games, Kermit Potter! The muppet that must be named wants to have a word with you.

Kermit Potter: The muppet that must be named? (zooms in) You mean Scootermort?

Fozzie Weasley: You twit!

Piggy Granger: Kermie.

Snape the Dog: It is madness to speak that name!

Kermit Potter: Okay! I guess I'll have to sing it, then! ♫ Scootermort, Scootermort, he does some computer information!♫ (laughing)

(A red teleport blasts in the shadow)

Scootermort: (in the shadow) Impressive, Kermit Potter.

Kermit Potter: Whoa, who's there?

Scootermort: (comes out of the shadow) It is I, the muppet that must not be named.

Kermit Potter: More like the muppet that has nose. (laughs)

Piggy Granger: Uh, Kermie. All of us have noses.

Fozzie Weasley: Wait a second, then how do we smell?

Kermit Potter: Stupid & annoying like both of you! (laughs)

Snape the Dog: My Lord, I was just about to deliver these rapscallions to you.

Kermit Potter: Hey! I'm not Scallion Potter, I'm Kermit Potter!

Scootermort: Enough!

(Scootermort kicks Snape the Dog out of the castle & Snape the Dog drowns in the water)

Kermit Potter: Hey! That's not how you play Kickditch!

Scootermort: And now, Kermit Potter, you will meet your end.

Piggy Granger: Don't worry, Kermie. We're here to help.

Fozzie Weasley: Yeah! You won't have to face Scootermort, alone!

Scootermort: As a matter of fact, he will! Jell-O-Ramus!!!

(Scootermort uses magic spells to trap Fozzie Weasley inside the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and Piggy Granger inside of the chocolate sundae.)

Kermit Potter: Yuck! I hate it, when they put Piggy and Fozzie in my big peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Piggy's chocolate sundae!

Scootermort: Now, Kermit Potter, the day I've waited for, the day we finally see who is the fire breathing dragon.

Kermit Potter: Oooh! Is it Animal?

Scootermort: What? Yeah!

Kermit Potter: Skeeter Umbridge?

Scootermort: THAT'S EVEN A MUPPET!!!

Kermit Potter: Geez, you don't have to be such an apple about it.

Scootermort: No, I am not--Wait. How....how did you know I was an apple?

Kermit Potter: Well, you do yell a lot.

(Kermit Potter dueling with Scootermort, and Scootermort keeps screaming)

(Scootermort killed Kermit Potter with is magicial power, and Kermit Potter died)

(in heaven)

Kermit Potter: Whoa. Where am I?

Gonzodore: Hello there, Kermit Potter!

Kermit Potter: Hey! Gonzodore, you're back!

Gonzodore: Actually, Kermit, I'm still dead.

Kermit Potter: Wait, If you're still dead, and we're talking, that means......(screaming)

Gonzodore: Snap out of it, you're not dead!

(Kermit Potter stops screaming)

Gonzodore: Think of this is a brief stoppage of time. To teach you a lesson. The most important lesson, you'll ever learn in your entire life.

(A slinkey goes downstairs)

Kermit Potter: Yay! Wait, what were you talking about, now?

Gonzodore: Kermit Potter, you must listen to me very, very closely! Now, to defeat Lord Scootermort, and save your friends you must simply...(sleeping)

Kermit Potter: Gonzodore? Gonzodore? (sigh) Now, I'll never know how to defeat Scootermort. Wait. What's that?

(Kermit Potter reads "How to Defeat Scootermort")

Kermit Potter: Ooooohh.

(in the castle)

Scootermort: With Kermit Potter gone, there is no one to stand in my--

(Kermit Potter got out in heaven)

Kermit Potter: Stand? I even have legs! (laughing)

Scootermort: What?! Impossible!! How did--

Kermit Potter: Hey, hey Scootermort! Hey!

Scootermort: What? What is it?!

Kermit Potter: Apple-cadabra!!

(Kermit Potter turns Scootermort into an apple)

Scootermort: You did it? You made me young and fresh again!

Kermit Potter: Yeah! Gonzodore's letter said, "The key you defeating your enemies is being nice to them!"

Scootermort: Well, Gonzodore was a wise wizard-werido!

Kermit Potter: Yeah, it said, "If you're nice to Scootermort, he'll never see it coming!"

Scootermort: See what coming?

Kermit Potter: Knife!

Scootermort: AAAAAA... (fades out)

(Ian sliced Scootermort in quarters, and Scootermort explodes in explosion. Fozzie Weasley, and Piggy Granger are freed from the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the chocolate sundae)

Fozzie Weasley: Yay!

Piggy Granger: You did it, Kermie!

Kermit Potter: Look at me! I'm a real "whiz kid"! (laughing)

Fozzie Weasly & Piggy Granger: (laughs)

Kermit Potter: (sigh) Now if that's over with, ''Who wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?! (eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich)''

Fozzie Weasly & Piggy Granger: (laughing)

Transcript

 * Kermit Potter: Alright on a count to 3, 1, 2, 3.
 * Kermit Potter, Fozzie Weasly & Piggy Granger: Higgledy, diggledy, diggledy, do, cha-cha! (A crab in a cake jumps)
 * Kermit Potter: We've done everything to get that CrabCake out of it's shell. What are we doing wrong?
 * Fozzie Weasly: I disgrease of Piggy Granger & I'll never take take off.
 * Kermit Potter: Guess who care is me. Now how to get this CrabCake out of its shell? Start thinking, guys.
 * Fozzie Weasly & Piggy Granger: (thinking) (phone rings & the CrabCake gets out of its shell)
 * CrabCake: Hello.
 * Skeeter Umbridge: Hello, may I speak to Kermit Potter?
 * CrabCake: Yeah, I think so. (gives the phone to Kermit Potter)
 * Kermit Potter: It gave the phone to me. You came out of your shell.

Transcript

 * Mail Lady: (Skeeter Umbridge opens the door) Delivery for Skeeter Umbridge.
 * Skeeter Umbridge: (the mail lady gives the box to Skeeter Umbridge & the mail lady goes the Apple Store) It's a gift from Apple. Such a beautiful packaging. I've never thought a company could be my soulmate. It's a first iBill. (Opens the iBill) 1,000,000 dollars? I've already downloaded 99 songs. (faints on the ground)

Credits

 * Ian Hecox as Scootermort
 * Lisbug as Piggy Granger
 * Kevin Brueck as Gonzodore
 * Bobjenz as Snape the Dog
 * Kermit as Kermit Potter
 * Fozzie as Fozzie Weasley
 * Mail Lady as herself
 * The Fire Breathing Dragon as Animal the Fire Breathing Dragon
 * Eva Cassidy as Skeeter Umbridge
 * Watch The Original Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone